MA: Hi! Thanks for joining us on the All Things Writing blog. We really appreciate your time!
Nathan: Like I had choice.
True. Why don't we get started?
It's your interview, doll.
What is your occupation?
I’m an angel and a tattoo artist in a shop over on Sixth Street called Hell’s Leak.
An angel, huh? Does that pay well? Good employee benefits?
(Nathan gives Mary Ann a surly stare)
Okay, moving on then. Let’s talk about your work at Hell's Leak. Whenever you tattoo someone it seems like bad stuff happens to them. Why is that exactly?
Because their bad people.
C’mon. They can’t all be bad.
Trust me. They aren’t the kind of people you want babysitting your kids or even your dogs. I can actually hear the hum of their sin. It floats in the air around these people like a metallic halo, giving off the worst sound imaginable. That’s how I know when it's time to do my job. When I hear that hum driting in to my shop, the person it belongs to is mine. Body and soul. But mostly soul.
I heard you once tattooed a mermaid on a girl and then an hour later she turned into a real one. That true?
Yes. Her sin was vanity and like the mermaids the sailors used to talk about, she spent half her time admiring herself.
But didn't she end up drowning? I think that’s a pretty harsh way to punish someone for being vain.
Tough. What do I care what you think? When God gives you super powers, then you can pass judgment on me.
Sorry. So in the two stories featuring you in the All Things Dark and Dastardly anthology, you’re stirring up trouble for an elementary teacher who likes to gossip and a lazy college kid who can't be depended on. Which one was more fun to mess with?
The kid. I gave him goat tattoo that sounds like George Carlin when it talks. That's pretty damn cool.
Um...that tattoo convinced the kid to cut off his hand...
Pretty wicked, right?
Hmmm….for an angel, you sure have a dark side. I thought angels were supposed to be sweet and kind with big white wings.
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| Nathan Explosion, not Nathan Ink. |
That’s what you get for thinkin’. I don’t have wings. I sure don't look like that dude on the cover of Nephilim. My chest is much cooler, and I have an awesome tattoo running down my body. In fact, I don't know any angels that look like that guy! I look more like Nathan Exposion from Dethklok.
Is that normal for angels? To worry over how they look on book covers? Sounds like you have some personal issues...
Watch it, Loesch.
Okay, the following questions are just for fun so feel free to answer honestly. Which do you prefer: beer or wine?
Tequila.
Best place to eat in Austin?
Hut’s Hamburgers.
Red and naughty or black and sexy?
Red and naughty.
Do angels have sex?
Not in public.
Well, on that note, let’s wrap it up! Thanks for being here today, Nathan. I’m sure we all look forward to reading your exploits in the upcoming anthology, All Things Dark and Dastardly!
Whatever.
Very clever! I enjoyed the post.
ReplyDeleteThanks! It was fun interviewing Nathan!
ReplyDelete